Well, I've been dealing with a splitting headache since yesterday afternoon, but that hasn't stopped me from going to practice. Nor does it stop me from slowly but surely packing for EROC (European Roller Derby Organisational Conference) in Berlin. Tomorrow morning at 7.20 I will be in a train with Whippin'Red Siren my teams trainer.
I promise to return sunday night full of stories newfound knowledge and some nice pics. As for now, I am finishing packing and catching some good sleep.
Derby Love!
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Day 16 - Too frustrated to do anything
I am very very very frustrated with my job. And swallowing that frustration because I need the money. But I've been on the verge of tears ever since yesterday afternoon. I feel like I can burst any moment now.
I have loads of nice things to tell, like how Fleur d'Lethal from New Orleans came to train with us last night (and how humbling an experience that was ;-) ) She rocks! About how my new wheels were absolutely AWESOME. About how good my body feels. About how I still haven't smoked a cigarette whilst my psychological imbalance right now SCREAMS for a smoke, or 30.
About how I dream I can make the most impressive jumps on skates every single night. About how I still haven't fallen of the diet wagon. But I am too effin' mad to take the time and share all that.
I KNOW how pathetic that sounds. I am sorry for this being such a lame post.
On the upside, Lone Rider and I have a date for some skate time tonight, and that will hopefully give me time and place to skate this shit outta my system. I will try post good stuff tomorrow.
Derby love through gritted teeth...
I am trying to avoid this...but the aggression that's me right now full force
I have loads of nice things to tell, like how Fleur d'Lethal from New Orleans came to train with us last night (and how humbling an experience that was ;-) ) She rocks! About how my new wheels were absolutely AWESOME. About how good my body feels. About how I still haven't smoked a cigarette whilst my psychological imbalance right now SCREAMS for a smoke, or 30.
About how I dream I can make the most impressive jumps on skates every single night. About how I still haven't fallen of the diet wagon. But I am too effin' mad to take the time and share all that.
I KNOW how pathetic that sounds. I am sorry for this being such a lame post.
On the upside, Lone Rider and I have a date for some skate time tonight, and that will hopefully give me time and place to skate this shit outta my system. I will try post good stuff tomorrow.
Derby love through gritted teeth...
I am trying to avoid this...but the aggression that's me right now full force
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Homework Week Three
Time flies, when you're having derby fun!
Week three already? Wow!
Week two flew by. And finished in a feast of new skates, new hair and allround happiness!
Those new skates...they make me so fast I got a bit scared of flying off the track in the corners. It took some getting used to, but dang are they AWESOME or what? And the booty shorts my mom got me with the skates actually fit! I was prancing around shiny butt and all!
So homework week three, let's see...
What about those push ups?
Yeah them darned push-ups! ;) As soon as I read there is no such thing as a girl push-up, I obliged. To my teams disappointment I decided that this rule goes for derby-practice as well. It is hard, I find that in a 'real' push-up I can't get that deep. I try, but if I do my arms give out and I am pulling my teeth from the concrete afterwards. So I need to get stronger there. I try to go deeper every time, but I find it very, very hard.
Time yourself doing a plank for as long as you possibly can and post your time for question 2.
01.24.91
I think I could push that some, but my mind said no, not today. ;) But it's a nice excercise I will repeat that this week.
What kind of surface do you skate on? What kind of wheels do you use?
On sundays we train in a gym with special flooring, and for that I use SureGrip Fugitive Wheels or SureGrip twister Wheels. On Monday and Wednesday we train in a garage with concrete floor that is not very even everywhere (think ridges, splashes of cement, sand, leafs) Atom Pulse wheels
Star jump or burpee??
Week three already? Wow!
Week two flew by. And finished in a feast of new skates, new hair and allround happiness!
 | |
| New hair and panda-eyes, because I forgot to remove my mascara before showering... |
So homework week three, let's see...
What about those push ups?
Yeah them darned push-ups! ;) As soon as I read there is no such thing as a girl push-up, I obliged. To my teams disappointment I decided that this rule goes for derby-practice as well. It is hard, I find that in a 'real' push-up I can't get that deep. I try, but if I do my arms give out and I am pulling my teeth from the concrete afterwards. So I need to get stronger there. I try to go deeper every time, but I find it very, very hard.
Time yourself doing a plank for as long as you possibly can and post your time for question 2.
01.24.91
I think I could push that some, but my mind said no, not today. ;) But it's a nice excercise I will repeat that this week.
What kind of surface do you skate on? What kind of wheels do you use?
On sundays we train in a gym with special flooring, and for that I use SureGrip Fugitive Wheels or SureGrip twister Wheels. On Monday and Wednesday we train in a garage with concrete floor that is not very even everywhere (think ridges, splashes of cement, sand, leafs) Atom Pulse wheels
Star jump or burpee??
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| Blauwe Bill |
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| George |
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Day 13 - my toes can finally be seen!
Today I'm feeling pretty damn good about myself. My jeans are sagging, I can actually see my toes looking down while standing up (and I need to tend to that sorry nail paint job) and even though I haven't lost a gramme, I am feeling good.
The getting up way too early is still going on, so today I found myself doing an excercise routine at eight in the morning. Yesterday was the first day I actually felt I had to go to bed earlier than I am used to. So I went in at eleven.
I've just read the workout programme for week three, and I am really stoked! Which in a way, doesn't really make sense. Because it looks harder than the last two weeks, and I already had a hard time doing that right...hmmmm I must be suffering from severe derby enthousiasm. :)
What really made my afternoon, was that my mom, who spent last week in NY at a wedding, came over and got me a brandnew pair of skates, an extra set of outside wheels, gumball toe stops and some pivotstar booty shorts! A big thank you to OMG WTF from Five Stride Skateshop for helping my mom! She says you were awesome to her! I can hardly wait for practice tomorrow. I am so wanting to try the new gear out!
And as much as I would love to put my skates on and just skate around the house the rest of the day, I really can't. It is my little monkeys 23rd birthday and I promised to come to her place and eat some traditional Roti. Yes, waaaaayyyyyy off the chart. But I've calculated around that with the rest of my meals. Plus I've excercised some extra today, and will do so tomorrow. So I am enjoying every bite tonight!
Tomorrow is Homework and excercise day. Yay!
Derby Love!
The getting up way too early is still going on, so today I found myself doing an excercise routine at eight in the morning. Yesterday was the first day I actually felt I had to go to bed earlier than I am used to. So I went in at eleven.
I've just read the workout programme for week three, and I am really stoked! Which in a way, doesn't really make sense. Because it looks harder than the last two weeks, and I already had a hard time doing that right...hmmmm I must be suffering from severe derby enthousiasm. :)
What really made my afternoon, was that my mom, who spent last week in NY at a wedding, came over and got me a brandnew pair of skates, an extra set of outside wheels, gumball toe stops and some pivotstar booty shorts! A big thank you to OMG WTF from Five Stride Skateshop for helping my mom! She says you were awesome to her! I can hardly wait for practice tomorrow. I am so wanting to try the new gear out!
And as much as I would love to put my skates on and just skate around the house the rest of the day, I really can't. It is my little monkeys 23rd birthday and I promised to come to her place and eat some traditional Roti. Yes, waaaaayyyyyy off the chart. But I've calculated around that with the rest of my meals. Plus I've excercised some extra today, and will do so tomorrow. So I am enjoying every bite tonight!
Tomorrow is Homework and excercise day. Yay!
Derby Love!
Friday, January 21, 2011
Day 12 - BURP.....EE
Today I didn't have to go into the office so I slept in. Till 7.
I remember a time where sleeping in meant waking up at three, going out of bed, visit bathroom, go back to bed, sleep till 7, get out of bed, shower, eat, go out...
None of that now!
I started out with a healthy breakfast of cardboard shake, black coffee and water.
 | ||||
| Isn't that just yummy! |
Then I reluctantly started on my first Burpee
 | |
| I can't look! ;) |
That went pretty well. In fact, I decided to change the programme to:
 | ||
| This is me during set #7 wondering what went wrong... |
 | ||
| I died from a Burpee overdose... |
So after that much needed shower, I treated myself to some cashews.
 |
| Yes, only a small handfull |
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| Content like a chipmunk! |
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Day eleven - Leaving impatience behind
Last night while kitty sitting for our Ref Blauwe Bill I found he had a scale! I immediately jumped on it.
And was pretty disappointed. I only lost 1,2 kilos since my last weighing, weeks before the challenge. I immediately felt fat. And a failure. Not good for my mood.
To make things worse I decided to measure myself with a rope and then measure the rope with a ruler. Not so happy either. At the same time I find it highly irritating that this influences my mood so much when I know that there is so much to be proud of. Like my quitting smoking after 22 years. Like the way I work out every day now. And so on and so on. But my stupid mind was clouded by my fat and caloric intake.
Bills cats seemed to know something was off with the sitter and soon came to sit with me and comfort me on the couch, 'till I had to leave for practice.
Practice included 35 minutes of off skate fitness with our trainer Ricardo. He kept correcting my posture -not from the back, carry yourself from the core- and he was very right to, but I felt like I was getting fatter and less nimble by the minute. Seriously, I need to stop that, I am heading straight for Derbia Nervosa.
So when I got home I felt sad. I just sat on my bed and stared for a few minutes. I was no fun to be around. None at all. I finally gathered myself, prepared my breakfast and lunch for today. Did the dishes and decided to make it a semi-early night.
This morning I was still kind of sad about the whole solid as a rock, you cannot change me attitude my body seems to have. But luckily I was reassured by M. that it wás changing, and that it díd show.
Basically I realized I am way too impatient. I expect my body to just up and shape itself into my dream bikini bod, with no effort or time passing what so ever.
M. cleverly remarked; That could happen, if you got operated on. But we both know that is so not what you want. You want to do this yourself. So DO it yourself.
And be patient.
So I am going to leave this impatience thing behind and be patient. And stick to this programme.
Even if it kills me...
Derby love!
And was pretty disappointed. I only lost 1,2 kilos since my last weighing, weeks before the challenge. I immediately felt fat. And a failure. Not good for my mood.
To make things worse I decided to measure myself with a rope and then measure the rope with a ruler. Not so happy either. At the same time I find it highly irritating that this influences my mood so much when I know that there is so much to be proud of. Like my quitting smoking after 22 years. Like the way I work out every day now. And so on and so on. But my stupid mind was clouded by my fat and caloric intake.
Bills cats seemed to know something was off with the sitter and soon came to sit with me and comfort me on the couch, 'till I had to leave for practice.
Practice included 35 minutes of off skate fitness with our trainer Ricardo. He kept correcting my posture -not from the back, carry yourself from the core- and he was very right to, but I felt like I was getting fatter and less nimble by the minute. Seriously, I need to stop that, I am heading straight for Derbia Nervosa.
So when I got home I felt sad. I just sat on my bed and stared for a few minutes. I was no fun to be around. None at all. I finally gathered myself, prepared my breakfast and lunch for today. Did the dishes and decided to make it a semi-early night.
This morning I was still kind of sad about the whole solid as a rock, you cannot change me attitude my body seems to have. But luckily I was reassured by M. that it wás changing, and that it díd show.
Basically I realized I am way too impatient. I expect my body to just up and shape itself into my dream bikini bod, with no effort or time passing what so ever.
M. cleverly remarked; That could happen, if you got operated on. But we both know that is so not what you want. You want to do this yourself. So DO it yourself.
And be patient.
So I am going to leave this impatience thing behind and be patient. And stick to this programme.
Even if it kills me...
Derby love!
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Day 10 - I cannot count, but that's okay
Today I realized, that what I posted as day eight was actually day seven. I obviously have trouble counting. It happens more often. Last night while ploughing through the '10 push ups and 30 second planks, please repeat 10 times' I -again- used coasters to keep score. Which should assure me I'd repeat 10 times exactly. Because I used 10 coasters.
When after round eleven I reached for a coaster, there was none. So yeah, I am an idiot. But a determined one.
As for the challenge: Diet wise I am doing well.Yes, I have sinned saturday and sunday, but I am back on the wagon. In fact last night our Ref Blauwe Bill cooked me dinner perfectly according to the plan! It felt really good being supported like that.
The excercise: I have done them all and some more. I see my arms are toning already. But I also find that I seem to suffer from a little fallback when it comes to the plank. I find it harder and harder to complete the full 60seconds. I yell at myself, pant, squeeze my hands together, but my legs seem to buckle after plank no4. And I think it should become easier the more you do it. I am not sure what causes this effect.
The other side effect is that every morning, no matter what time I go to bed, I wake at 5.30. Not tired. AWAKE. Seriously, why??? I just get up and start doing shit, making the best of this splurge of extra energy. But come on, 5.30? Really...
And I still haven't smoked. And found the downside to that. My nose, finally clearing up after years of asphaltation in progress, has turned into a sensitive bitch. Everyone around me smells. Everything around me smells. And it is not nice... Oh well I'll survive.
I have actually lost the craving for a cigarette, even that one after dinner. I guess the fact that my dinners are a lot less plentiful these days does help matters.
I really, really want to know if I lost weight, but as stated before I only weighed myself a good week before the challenge and haven't been near a scale since (I don't own one myself) and I desperately want to know wether this whole thing is working for me.
Same goes for measuring. Every night I look at myself in the mirror from every possible angle I can, but that Christmas balcony looks solid as a rock. It sits there and doesn't seem to budge. I'd love to know if it was at least retracting in some slow way. But I've lost my tape measure AND haven't bothered to measure when I started out. I know. Stupid.
So tasks for this week; find a scale and stand on it. Find a piece of rope, use as tape measure and measure rope with ruler. Oh, and sticking with the programme. Of course!
And as for my derby fiancée Sandra Buttblock, she insisted I propose to her again, as not enough people were witness to my last proposal. So on februari the eighteenth during
GGGRG presents *D*E*R*B*Y*L*I*C*I*O*U*S* *4* I will be proposing properly with a ring and all that's left of my dignity and honor. New pics will be posted of course.,
That's it for today. I am going to go and do some actual work. I guess that's what I'm paid for after all. ;)
Derby Love!
When after round eleven I reached for a coaster, there was none. So yeah, I am an idiot. But a determined one.
As for the challenge: Diet wise I am doing well.Yes, I have sinned saturday and sunday, but I am back on the wagon. In fact last night our Ref Blauwe Bill cooked me dinner perfectly according to the plan! It felt really good being supported like that.
The excercise: I have done them all and some more. I see my arms are toning already. But I also find that I seem to suffer from a little fallback when it comes to the plank. I find it harder and harder to complete the full 60seconds. I yell at myself, pant, squeeze my hands together, but my legs seem to buckle after plank no4. And I think it should become easier the more you do it. I am not sure what causes this effect.
 |
| What I look like after plank #4 |
The other side effect is that every morning, no matter what time I go to bed, I wake at 5.30. Not tired. AWAKE. Seriously, why??? I just get up and start doing shit, making the best of this splurge of extra energy. But come on, 5.30? Really...
And I still haven't smoked. And found the downside to that. My nose, finally clearing up after years of asphaltation in progress, has turned into a sensitive bitch. Everyone around me smells. Everything around me smells. And it is not nice... Oh well I'll survive.
I have actually lost the craving for a cigarette, even that one after dinner. I guess the fact that my dinners are a lot less plentiful these days does help matters.
I really, really want to know if I lost weight, but as stated before I only weighed myself a good week before the challenge and haven't been near a scale since (I don't own one myself) and I desperately want to know wether this whole thing is working for me.
 |
| If only.... |
And as for my derby fiancée Sandra Buttblock, she insisted I propose to her again, as not enough people were witness to my last proposal. So on februari the eighteenth during
GGGRG presents *D*E*R*B*Y*L*I*C*I*O*U*S* *4* I will be proposing properly with a ring and all that's left of my dignity and honor. New pics will be posted of course.,
That's it for today. I am going to go and do some actual work. I guess that's what I'm paid for after all. ;)
Derby Love!
Monday, January 17, 2011
I got engaged!
As promised foto-footage of my proposal to Sandra Buttblock of the Antwerp One Love Roller Dolls.
We intend to get married during Rollercon. That is, if her former fiancée doesn't kill me in the meantime.
Ahem...
So yeah...I'm engaged! Finally! ;)
We intend to get married during Rollercon. That is, if her former fiancée doesn't kill me in the meantime.
Ahem...
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| Down on my knee with a bouquet of broccoli |
 | |
| Derby love... |
 |
| Happy couple... |
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Day eight - the day we had to wait....
I find that going through this challenge I seem to need less sleep, or maybe I get more energy.
Yeah that's it I guess.
Because despite me going to bed at 5 this morning (something with lost keys and bushes, don't ask) I was wide awake at nine in the morning. Which was good, because that was actually the time I had to get up.
First I did some burpees just because I want to be able to do them without waking the whole flat or ripping my pants. What is a burpee?
I know, I thought it had something to do with drinking too much soda as well...little did I know.
And then it was time for practice! I really enjoyed it and broke a good sweat, so that was good. But then returning to our dressing room. We found it was locked! No way to get in. and all our stuff was there! I will spare you the boring details, but we had to wait for a good hour and a half before someone came to rescue us.
So off we went to have after practice brunch in Bazar downtown. And again we waited some good time before our food came. But when it came...oh...
You might be thinking; How could she order brunch in a restaurant? No way that is in keeping with the challenge diet!
And you're right. I stuffed my face -again-. Not only am I now patron saint of the guilty eaters association, I also am goddess of biting your head of if you touch my cheese! (i.e. I barked at a teammate that had the audacity to nibble a piece of my feta-cheese. I know mum, you didn't raise me like that, but you haven't raised me to be a hungry child either)
On the other hand, all I've eaten the rest of the day was one cardboard protein fibre shake. So I think (hope) it all balances out in the end. To make sure I will stay on the path tomorrow I have already prepared my breakfast and lunch. I should be fine.
Oh and I promised exiting stories from last nights bout. Well...I proposed to someone elses derby-wife (broccoli flowerpiece and rubber hair band ring included. She has wisely not said yes or no, so as far as I know I am still without derby fiancée. :((( Though she accepted the broccoli and ring. There are pictures to prove that (which I shall post as soon as I get my paws on them) so maybe there is hope?
Anyway, actions speak louder than words, so here goes:
Oh and: I DID NOT SMOKE!
*but if I had a dollar for every time I thought about smoking I'd be a billionaire by now*
Yeah that's it I guess.
Because despite me going to bed at 5 this morning (something with lost keys and bushes, don't ask) I was wide awake at nine in the morning. Which was good, because that was actually the time I had to get up.
First I did some burpees just because I want to be able to do them without waking the whole flat or ripping my pants. What is a burpee?
I know, I thought it had something to do with drinking too much soda as well...little did I know.
And then it was time for practice! I really enjoyed it and broke a good sweat, so that was good. But then returning to our dressing room. We found it was locked! No way to get in. and all our stuff was there! I will spare you the boring details, but we had to wait for a good hour and a half before someone came to rescue us.
So off we went to have after practice brunch in Bazar downtown. And again we waited some good time before our food came. But when it came...oh...
 |
| Who wouldn't want to have brunch here? |
And you're right. I stuffed my face -again-. Not only am I now patron saint of the guilty eaters association, I also am goddess of biting your head of if you touch my cheese! (i.e. I barked at a teammate that had the audacity to nibble a piece of my feta-cheese. I know mum, you didn't raise me like that, but you haven't raised me to be a hungry child either)
On the other hand, all I've eaten the rest of the day was one cardboard protein fibre shake. So I think (hope) it all balances out in the end. To make sure I will stay on the path tomorrow I have already prepared my breakfast and lunch. I should be fine.
Oh and I promised exiting stories from last nights bout. Well...I proposed to someone elses derby-wife (broccoli flowerpiece and rubber hair band ring included. She has wisely not said yes or no, so as far as I know I am still without derby fiancée. :((( Though she accepted the broccoli and ring. There are pictures to prove that (which I shall post as soon as I get my paws on them) so maybe there is hope?
Anyway, actions speak louder than words, so here goes:
Oh and: I DID NOT SMOKE!
*but if I had a dollar for every time I thought about smoking I'd be a billionaire by now*
Day Seven - Father of healthy food, forgive me
for I have sinned...
*this is what I think of when I write that line...just because of the first few lines*
After the Gent Go-Go-Rollergirls 1st bout (on which I should probably write an entire blog but for now am too effin' tired to, so tomorrow I'll try again, with pics!) I walked straight into a mc Donalds and ordered a Chicken Sensation burger.
And fries.
And an applejuice -this is me fooling myself into having sort of a healthy dinner-
After stuffing my face faster than lightning. I started reading the calorie, fat and other shit intake I had just willingly submitted my body to. The calories and salt were waaaay off the chart, not to mention the carbs...
*as if I didn't know that, as if I didn't know my own bed....*
Anyways, I grossed myself out, felt enough guilt to be honorably mentioned as the runner up for patron saint of the guilty eaters association, and had an upset stomach the rest of the night. In fact it is still upset.
No use crying over lapped up milk, so I guess after this confession it is time to move on and get back on the programme.
But I didn't smoke....
;)
So to celebrate that come dance with me:
*slow dance take a chance with me...;P*
*this is what I think of when I write that line...just because of the first few lines*
After the Gent Go-Go-Rollergirls 1st bout (on which I should probably write an entire blog but for now am too effin' tired to, so tomorrow I'll try again, with pics!) I walked straight into a mc Donalds and ordered a Chicken Sensation burger.
And fries.
And an applejuice -this is me fooling myself into having sort of a healthy dinner-
 |
| My mom should have done that today... ;) |
After stuffing my face faster than lightning. I started reading the calorie, fat and other shit intake I had just willingly submitted my body to. The calories and salt were waaaay off the chart, not to mention the carbs...
*as if I didn't know that, as if I didn't know my own bed....*
Anyways, I grossed myself out, felt enough guilt to be honorably mentioned as the runner up for patron saint of the guilty eaters association, and had an upset stomach the rest of the night. In fact it is still upset.
No use crying over lapped up milk, so I guess after this confession it is time to move on and get back on the programme.
But I didn't smoke....
;)
So to celebrate that come dance with me:
*slow dance take a chance with me...;P*
Friday, January 14, 2011
Day five - Shrugging it off
So last night after posting my blog, I laid down on the couch and cried. For cigarettes. Yes I did. And I kept whining; 'This is really hard!'
That was pretty much the most pathetic I remember myself being since puberty.
I comforted myself with some dark chocolate -on the allowed list!- and fell asleep in front of the tv.
Today I had to travel a lot for work. So I spent a good part of the day in the car. On the way to my appointments it was ok, traffic was good and it was raining hard -keeps me concentrated on driving, so that's good-. When driving back, traffic turned into a big mess I could clearly see myself being stuck in in no time. And I was right. I was stuck in traffic for a good two (!) hours. Moving little to none.
Normally I would happily sit in my car and smoke a pack -if not two- away in that time. But I had no cigarettes. All I could do was set my thoughts on fire. Just as I was staring away into the vast sea of cars in front of me, I heard a thump. It felt like a wave went through me. It took me some seconds to realise it had been real. I turned around to see a man in his car holding a phone to his ear, shrugging. His car was kissing my cars behind.
I turned back in my seat and looked out front. And then a warm rage filled my body. What the hell was that guy thinking? He hit me! I felt it! Calling while driving is illegal, and he fucking SHRUGS?
By this time I have visualised the damage this dimwit must have done to my car. Of course 'dented' doesn't begin to cover it. I am furious.
I turn back around. The driver is gone. The car is empty. But it is slowly moving towards me again? Ah, there pops the head of the idiotic driver back up. Again clutching the phone between shoulder and chin, now holding a cd in his hand. He catches my eye just in time to break. I hear his car softly kissing mine again.
I try to catch his gaze. He tries to avoid mine. I gesture: What the fuck? He shrugs again. I gesture: I am watching you. He mouths: It is okay. And shrugs.
Now I am ready to kill. But I also want to make a point of driving flawless now, and the jam is pacing up. I accelerate. I see in my rearview mirror he stays behind. I see he drives a black Hyundai. I see his licence plate.
Of course the licence plate! I need to memorize his plate so in case I find the ass of my car completely shred to bits on arrival home, I can sue his ass for what it's worth, because I know his plate!
I repeat the number all the way home. Meanwhile flipping mr Shrug the bird every time we pass eachother.
Finally home, I get out off the car, knees shaky with the remains of road rage. I check the back of my car.
Not a scratch, not a dent, not a spec.
I shrug.
*but I didn't smoke*
That was pretty much the most pathetic I remember myself being since puberty.
I comforted myself with some dark chocolate -on the allowed list!- and fell asleep in front of the tv.
Today I had to travel a lot for work. So I spent a good part of the day in the car. On the way to my appointments it was ok, traffic was good and it was raining hard -keeps me concentrated on driving, so that's good-. When driving back, traffic turned into a big mess I could clearly see myself being stuck in in no time. And I was right. I was stuck in traffic for a good two (!) hours. Moving little to none.
Normally I would happily sit in my car and smoke a pack -if not two- away in that time. But I had no cigarettes. All I could do was set my thoughts on fire. Just as I was staring away into the vast sea of cars in front of me, I heard a thump. It felt like a wave went through me. It took me some seconds to realise it had been real. I turned around to see a man in his car holding a phone to his ear, shrugging. His car was kissing my cars behind.
I turned back in my seat and looked out front. And then a warm rage filled my body. What the hell was that guy thinking? He hit me! I felt it! Calling while driving is illegal, and he fucking SHRUGS?
By this time I have visualised the damage this dimwit must have done to my car. Of course 'dented' doesn't begin to cover it. I am furious.
I turn back around. The driver is gone. The car is empty. But it is slowly moving towards me again? Ah, there pops the head of the idiotic driver back up. Again clutching the phone between shoulder and chin, now holding a cd in his hand. He catches my eye just in time to break. I hear his car softly kissing mine again.
I try to catch his gaze. He tries to avoid mine. I gesture: What the fuck? He shrugs again. I gesture: I am watching you. He mouths: It is okay. And shrugs.
Now I am ready to kill. But I also want to make a point of driving flawless now, and the jam is pacing up. I accelerate. I see in my rearview mirror he stays behind. I see he drives a black Hyundai. I see his licence plate.
Of course the licence plate! I need to memorize his plate so in case I find the ass of my car completely shred to bits on arrival home, I can sue his ass for what it's worth, because I know his plate!
I repeat the number all the way home. Meanwhile flipping mr Shrug the bird every time we pass eachother.
Finally home, I get out off the car, knees shaky with the remains of road rage. I check the back of my car.
Not a scratch, not a dent, not a spec.
I shrug.
*but I didn't smoke*
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Day four - Steady pace?
Well, I have pretty much checked every thing on my to do list today. I've stuck to my diet (even though our new Ref treated us to cream puffs after training, I politely declined, as have I not touched the sparkly rosé he brought) I haven't lit a cigarette (though I badly crave one now, I must admit) and I am sore all over from work out and derby practice.
I am doing perfectly fine.
Am I?
I don't own a scale, so I don't know if I made any measurable progress. Nor have I measured my waiste when I started out...again not measurable. And I am at a point right now where I need some motivation. I need to see I am doing good. Not hear from loving friends and acquintances, but see. With my eyes.
But I can't. Not right now and that slightly depresses me. And that feeling makes me yearn for a smoke. Or twelve. Okay so, I'd settle for ten. NOW! Please.
But I won't smoke. I'll go sit on the couch watch mindnumbingly stupid commercials and call it an early night. Maybe tomorrow things will be better.
They better be.
I am doing perfectly fine.
Am I?
I don't own a scale, so I don't know if I made any measurable progress. Nor have I measured my waiste when I started out...again not measurable. And I am at a point right now where I need some motivation. I need to see I am doing good. Not hear from loving friends and acquintances, but see. With my eyes.
But I can't. Not right now and that slightly depresses me. And that feeling makes me yearn for a smoke. Or twelve. Okay so, I'd settle for ten. NOW! Please.
But I won't smoke. I'll go sit on the couch watch mindnumbingly stupid commercials and call it an early night. Maybe tomorrow things will be better.
They better be.
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Day three. Excercise doesn't make me pretty...
Yet...
Today was harder than the first two days. Coming out of work, literally EVERYONE on the platform waiting for the streetcar was smoking. I craved a cigarette sooo bad! So to restrain myself I immediately called a friend, and she kindly talked me out of buying, borrowing or stealing cigarettes from the people there. But it wasn't easy. I admit that.
Diet went very well today, as stated, restraining my self from eating everything I can get a hold of; not so much a problem.
But then; Excercise time! I waited 'till I had the house all to myself, knowing I would be panting and sighing like a deer in a bearclamp. It's just not a sound that should be shared. :)
So I started off pretty happy. Headphones on. Feeling pretty good about myself.
But after 60 second plank #4
I was becoming more and more troubled
To the point where the I didn't care if I was excercising next to, or in the kitty litter box, I just wanted it to be over!
*On a different note; if this is what I look like while doing 60 second planks, I do NOT want to know what face I make while in labour. EVER.*
So after round 3 I needed motivation. I had to reward myself for each round. Before this challenge I would have rewarded myself with food. Or a cigarette. Or both. But that was no good now.
So this shows how debilitating this whole process is, because I actually 'rewarded' myself by....stacking coasters. A coaster for each round. 5 coasters meant I was done.
See? Only two more to go!
So then I only needed two more rounds. Facebooking on my handheld with other derby girls while trying to get air after another plank really really helped a lot.
After the last plank I was exhausted.
Guess what song was playing on my I-pod?
Do it again....by QOTSA...
I am supersticious, but...
HELL NO!
Ok, well, maybe tomorrow then.
For today, I made my stack!
Today was harder than the first two days. Coming out of work, literally EVERYONE on the platform waiting for the streetcar was smoking. I craved a cigarette sooo bad! So to restrain myself I immediately called a friend, and she kindly talked me out of buying, borrowing or stealing cigarettes from the people there. But it wasn't easy. I admit that.
Diet went very well today, as stated, restraining my self from eating everything I can get a hold of; not so much a problem.
But then; Excercise time! I waited 'till I had the house all to myself, knowing I would be panting and sighing like a deer in a bearclamp. It's just not a sound that should be shared. :)
So I started off pretty happy. Headphones on. Feeling pretty good about myself.
But after 60 second plank #4
To the point where the I didn't care if I was excercising next to, or in the kitty litter box, I just wanted it to be over!
So after round 3 I needed motivation. I had to reward myself for each round. Before this challenge I would have rewarded myself with food. Or a cigarette. Or both. But that was no good now.
So this shows how debilitating this whole process is, because I actually 'rewarded' myself by....stacking coasters. A coaster for each round. 5 coasters meant I was done.
So then I only needed two more rounds. Facebooking on my handheld with other derby girls while trying to get air after another plank really really helped a lot.
After the last plank I was exhausted.
Do it again....by QOTSA...
I am supersticious, but...
HELL NO!
Ok, well, maybe tomorrow then.
For today, I made my stack!
Monday, January 10, 2011
Music pulls me through -day two-
So the diet, as stated before, is not that much of a problem. Nor is the workout. But that g*dd*mn-awful craving for a smoke! It is driving me insane!
I find only if I am really concentrated on something else I forget about cigarettes.
So after dinner, dishes done, time to relax.... I NEED MY SMOHOHOOOOOKES!!!
I can't find anything to distract me enough to not visualise cigarettes, me smoking or me buying cigarettes.
I tried lots of black coffee (allowed according to the diet plan)
But coffee is no good without a cigarette.
I find that if I get lost in music, I forget about the smokes for a while. So here goes:
It's probably better to just go to sleep...well...okay one more song then...
Goodnite!
I find only if I am really concentrated on something else I forget about cigarettes.
So after dinner, dishes done, time to relax.... I NEED MY SMOHOHOOOOOKES!!!
I can't find anything to distract me enough to not visualise cigarettes, me smoking or me buying cigarettes.
I tried lots of black coffee (allowed according to the diet plan)
But coffee is no good without a cigarette.
Here I am trying to make the best of it...the cup helps
I find that if I get lost in music, I forget about the smokes for a while. So here goes:
Singing like you're winning! (or like you just smeared your mascara all over your face ;P)
Shake it all out! (I tend to be very serious about my headbanging)
It's probably better to just go to sleep...well...okay one more song then...
Dance like nobody watches you (and do those little claps too!)
Goodnite!
Sunday, January 09, 2011
The first day *and the exposing of my not so hot body*
Well, got up to drink my diet shake (YAY! Ok, it was not yay, but it was good enough to get me going) plus black coffee and off to practice I went. There were not many of us -it seems like sunday morning training is only there for the fanatics- but that gave us a lot of room to really really focus on technique.
I loved it!
So: diet and workout: CHECK!
Now it turns out there are still three cigarettes in the house. And I must admit after coming back from practice, drinking the second cardboard shake of the day and another black coffee I never for a second stopped myself and just lit up. That means a) I failed on the first day, and b) I will fail again today, for I will smoke those last two cigarettes as well.
I know, weak, lame, sad.
Then again I have vowed not to buy ANY cigarettes again. And have asked my friends to really really monitor this. Severe punishment when I get caught is allowed, if not nescessary. So yeah.
Two to go and then it is really really over.
I believe me. Do you?
To push myself some more I have taken two pictures of what I lovingly call 'My Christmas Balcony'. Or: the before pics. I am actually posting them here. Yes I am. And in eight weeks I will be posting my -hopefully- tight, muscly, bikini bod. In booty shorts. So if you're a sensitive person. Stop scrolling NOW.
Wow, that was scarier than I thought it would be. Oh well...
Good, day one down, ready for day two!
I loved it!
So: diet and workout: CHECK!
Now it turns out there are still three cigarettes in the house. And I must admit after coming back from practice, drinking the second cardboard shake of the day and another black coffee I never for a second stopped myself and just lit up. That means a) I failed on the first day, and b) I will fail again today, for I will smoke those last two cigarettes as well.
I know, weak, lame, sad.
Then again I have vowed not to buy ANY cigarettes again. And have asked my friends to really really monitor this. Severe punishment when I get caught is allowed, if not nescessary. So yeah.
Two to go and then it is really really over.
I believe me. Do you?
To push myself some more I have taken two pictures of what I lovingly call 'My Christmas Balcony'. Or: the before pics. I am actually posting them here. Yes I am. And in eight weeks I will be posting my -hopefully- tight, muscly, bikini bod. In booty shorts. So if you're a sensitive person. Stop scrolling NOW.
Good, day one down, ready for day two!
Saturday, January 08, 2011
Homework Week One
The challenge is not only to change my eating patterns, work out more effectively and quit the nicotine affaire I've been having for over 20 years but also to do homework. Keep up with progress (or fallback) contemplate and share.
Now, when I left school aeons ago I vowed never to do homework again. Here I am happily breaking that vow. See how the younger me knew sh*t about life? (Figures, she's also the one that got me hooked on cigarettes)
She wasn't all bad. Thanks to her I learned the meaning of the word persistance. She taught me how to be passionate and positive. So now I am thanking her for the lessons and starting my homework.
Here goes:
What do you think will be the hardest nutrition guideline for you to follow?
As for the foods we are allowed, none. I've been on very heavy diets (I have once lived of vitamin and protein shakes for a period of six months. Which, by the way gets you thin in no time but is a killer for your body. I DO NOT RECCOMEND IT!) The thing is, in my mind I never have time to cook. I say in my mind, because when push comes to shove I have time enough to cook two three course meals a day. I just have a problem really taking the time to prepare normal, healthy food. I tend to chow down a mars bar while folding the laundry and calling my mom on the phone. I really really need to learn to take that important time.
We want you to think before you eat, do you think before you shop?? Name three derby owned businesses.
To be honest, in Holland I would not know any. Though I am sure that between the seven leagues we have here now there must be some entrepreneurs. Wait, I know a girl in my team that owns a business. She counts! I proudly boast: Sofie Wentholt Theater en Training. Other than that...ouch... I really need to get to know these other teams better. *shame on me*
What is one thing that you have in your fridge or pantry that you thought was healthy but may now be rethinking?
Fortunately I know that the bonbons, the cheesypoofs, the liquorice (and the liquor for that matter) that share my home with me are not healthy foods. Again that terrifying diet from some time ago taught me that. So no surprises there.
I think I might have been one of the few ladies that was stoked to see there was actually so much food on the list. Real food! With taste and all! YAY!
Do you know your league history? Who founded your league and in what year?
I am very happy to be part of the Rotterdam Death Row Honeys We are a very new league and only started out end of last september. And we were founded by, well I guess me.
It went something like this:
The end of summer 2010 I hade a very lucent dream. I was rollerskating. And I was good. Hell, I was FANTASTIC! I loved the feeling of riding, jumping, striding fluently through my dreamworld. I woke up STOKED!
I completely disregarded the fact that I hadn't been on skates for the last 25 years and ordered some quads online.
Right.
I couldn't skate to save my life. Seriously. I couldn't do anything else but cling to furniture, trees, people, anything that didn't move like them darned wheels did.
Just as I was about to put the skates up for sale on Ebay, a friend told me she had gotten quadskates. I immediately claimed her, telling her I needed a buddy to scrape my face from the street every time I fell over. She declined (I guess I didn't sell it that well) and said she'd rather start a Roller Derby League!
How could I have forgotten about Roller Derby? Of course this was the sole purpose of my being! Within an hour I had a potential team in gear and off we went. (By the way, the girl that planted this beautiful idea in my head has never joined our league. She was afraid the possible injuries would influence her career as a musician, and I guess that was a wise decision. Thanks to her, our league will soon have our very own anthem!)
We are still exploring, learning all the time, and are very, very determined. And me? I still can't skate to save my life. But I can sure skate to save my love!
How did you come up with your derby name?
The Beerbaby I am going to lose. ;)
I'm cheering myself on here! (Yay for motivation!)
Good, homework done, time for a last goodbye to cigarettes, candy and alcohol. I'll be stuffing my face, if you need me. ;P
Now, when I left school aeons ago I vowed never to do homework again. Here I am happily breaking that vow. See how the younger me knew sh*t about life? (Figures, she's also the one that got me hooked on cigarettes)
She wasn't all bad. Thanks to her I learned the meaning of the word persistance. She taught me how to be passionate and positive. So now I am thanking her for the lessons and starting my homework.
Here goes:
What do you think will be the hardest nutrition guideline for you to follow?
As for the foods we are allowed, none. I've been on very heavy diets (I have once lived of vitamin and protein shakes for a period of six months. Which, by the way gets you thin in no time but is a killer for your body. I DO NOT RECCOMEND IT!) The thing is, in my mind I never have time to cook. I say in my mind, because when push comes to shove I have time enough to cook two three course meals a day. I just have a problem really taking the time to prepare normal, healthy food. I tend to chow down a mars bar while folding the laundry and calling my mom on the phone. I really really need to learn to take that important time.
We want you to think before you eat, do you think before you shop?? Name three derby owned businesses.
To be honest, in Holland I would not know any. Though I am sure that between the seven leagues we have here now there must be some entrepreneurs. Wait, I know a girl in my team that owns a business. She counts! I proudly boast: Sofie Wentholt Theater en Training. Other than that...ouch... I really need to get to know these other teams better. *shame on me*
What is one thing that you have in your fridge or pantry that you thought was healthy but may now be rethinking?
Fortunately I know that the bonbons, the cheesypoofs, the liquorice (and the liquor for that matter) that share my home with me are not healthy foods. Again that terrifying diet from some time ago taught me that. So no surprises there.
I think I might have been one of the few ladies that was stoked to see there was actually so much food on the list. Real food! With taste and all! YAY!
Do you know your league history? Who founded your league and in what year?
I am very happy to be part of the Rotterdam Death Row Honeys We are a very new league and only started out end of last september. And we were founded by, well I guess me.
It went something like this:
The end of summer 2010 I hade a very lucent dream. I was rollerskating. And I was good. Hell, I was FANTASTIC! I loved the feeling of riding, jumping, striding fluently through my dreamworld. I woke up STOKED!
I completely disregarded the fact that I hadn't been on skates for the last 25 years and ordered some quads online.
Right.
I couldn't skate to save my life. Seriously. I couldn't do anything else but cling to furniture, trees, people, anything that didn't move like them darned wheels did.
Just as I was about to put the skates up for sale on Ebay, a friend told me she had gotten quadskates. I immediately claimed her, telling her I needed a buddy to scrape my face from the street every time I fell over. She declined (I guess I didn't sell it that well) and said she'd rather start a Roller Derby League!
How could I have forgotten about Roller Derby? Of course this was the sole purpose of my being! Within an hour I had a potential team in gear and off we went. (By the way, the girl that planted this beautiful idea in my head has never joined our league. She was afraid the possible injuries would influence her career as a musician, and I guess that was a wise decision. Thanks to her, our league will soon have our very own anthem!)
We are still exploring, learning all the time, and are very, very determined. And me? I still can't skate to save my life. But I can sure skate to save my love!
How did you come up with your derby name?
The Beerbaby I am going to lose. ;)
Good, homework done, time for a last goodbye to cigarettes, candy and alcohol. I'll be stuffing my face, if you need me. ;P
Let's get started! (original post january 6th 2011)
*this post has been previously published as a note on Facebook*
So here we are, just 6 days into the new year.
I have been living the good and lush life and it is time to make a change. Here goes:
1) What do you hope to gain from the Roller Derby Workout Challenge?
I hope, no, let me rephrase that; I will lose a little of that winterfat (I am not hibernating, so what the h*ll did I save that for?) I will get in shape so I'll pass my minimum skills test this spring. And furthermore by July I'll look good in bootyshorts for the first time in my life AND flaunt that at Rollercon.
2) After reading the Nutritional Guidelines what seems like the biggest challenge?
Not the diet, I've been on worse regimes. Not the booze -I was never much of a drinker- but...those damned cigarettes. Especially when on a diet, they are the perfect cure to my oral fixation. It is so bad that I've already calculated moments of exception -birthday party this friday, for instance- on the other hand it is so good, that I, being a smoker for over 20 yrs now -yes, I am that old- have not smoked INSIDE the house for a couple of weeks. Not being able to light up without having to put your coat and shoes on has greatly decreased my daily smoke intake. So yeah, getting there, but all in good time.
I am looking forward to this fresh start, as well as to feeling energetic again.
*I'll be sipping herbal tea while dreaming of my new booty*
RheAlie-T-Check
So here we are, just 6 days into the new year.
I have been living the good and lush life and it is time to make a change. Here goes:
1) What do you hope to gain from the Roller Derby Workout Challenge?
I hope, no, let me rephrase that; I will lose a little of that winterfat (I am not hibernating, so what the h*ll did I save that for?) I will get in shape so I'll pass my minimum skills test this spring. And furthermore by July I'll look good in bootyshorts for the first time in my life AND flaunt that at Rollercon.
2) After reading the Nutritional Guidelines what seems like the biggest challenge?
Not the diet, I've been on worse regimes. Not the booze -I was never much of a drinker- but...those damned cigarettes. Especially when on a diet, they are the perfect cure to my oral fixation. It is so bad that I've already calculated moments of exception -birthday party this friday, for instance- on the other hand it is so good, that I, being a smoker for over 20 yrs now -yes, I am that old- have not smoked INSIDE the house for a couple of weeks. Not being able to light up without having to put your coat and shoes on has greatly decreased my daily smoke intake. So yeah, getting there, but all in good time.
I am looking forward to this fresh start, as well as to feeling energetic again.
*I'll be sipping herbal tea while dreaming of my new booty*
RheAlie-T-Check
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